Into the Real
by Joukou
Summary: When Nagato's resurrection jutsu takes an unexpected twist, several people - enemies and friends alike - find themselves in a shocking situation... and in the hands of the worst possible. Crack-fic ; spoilers to ch. 449
1. Chapter 1

**Ah... this is my first multi-chapter Naruto... and it's a lovely crack-fic. Yes, that's right. One of those fictions that is so stupid you just have to read it to see what there is in it. Either way, this isn't an out of character crack-fic. I will warn you that I will have to change a few characters for this to work, but it's not like serious out of character. I'll try to keep things in check. I have a few notes, though, on this story.**

**First: You may find something much like this already posted up here! There is a story called Reality? by EmoNinja27 with the same idea. Don't worry; she is my best friend and we know each other offline. The idea of this fiction was originally mine, but I gave her permission to write her own. So we're writing very similar stories, but they will be different at the same time, because we both have a very different style, and will tend to make a different character each the semi-main character. Just more time in the spotlight. If you want proof that this wasn't stolen, send a message to EmoNinja.**

**Second: The reason we each have a different main character is because these characters take after people we know in real life. EmoNinja's semi-main character is herself, with a different name, of course. And the character I give more attention to is myself, again, with a different name. Other characters are our actual friends, and each one has a made up name.**

**Third: I update randomly. Sorry. The next chapter is already written, though~ And I'm writing the third. I'll try for maybe once a week. But I'm not sure. And this chapter is a little longer than my average. I will be keeping my stories within the 3,000 to 4,000 word range. If it's longer, it means I'm getting better! Yay. Anyway. On with the story. Please enjoy.**

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****Chapter One**

It was not over when they thought it was. The jutsu Nagato had used to resurrect so many in Konoha had created a warp in the fabric of reality; the jutsu itself also spread further than Konoha, resurrecting anyone who had once had contact with Nagato. But the twist in reality warped a select group of shinobi (those in certain parts of Konoha and many of those resurrected who had contact with Nagato) through a hole in the twist. Enemies and ally alike were tossed through dimensions, until they landed rather unceremoniously…

In the middle of a lake.

And utter chaos followed.

The first of the odd group to regain his composure was Hoshigaki Kisame, who was, only moments after the… weird warp thing… found on shore, drying off. The unfortunate people left in the lake made to swim after him. Colorful swearing rose up from many of the males.

By the time everyone had made it to the shoreline (they spread along a good hundred feet of the muddy beach, putting distance between each other), everyone was tired and simply wanted to lay for a bit.

But one, rather confused voice broke the silence.

"Why the hell am I so tired?"

Another voice chose, oddly, to respond… quite brightly:

"I couldn't get onto the water! How odd!"

Another voice rose up, nearest to the first one.

"I'm hungry…"

"And why is it night? Wasn't it daytime in Konoha?"

Grumbles of irritation rose up, and finally, a lone figure stood, staggering over to the first voice. It was obviously a female, and she aimed a kick into the first speaker's side. "Shut up, Naruto. Take this situation clearly. I can't sense any chakra."

Of course, this was the currently serious Haruno Sakura, looking around her warily.

Naruto sat up with a huff. "Ah, Sakura-chan, but I'm confused! Don' t you kn – Wait, you can't sense any chakra?" He stopped and concentrated, his eyes widening when he discovered he couldn't either.

"Neither can I," voiced the second voice; this proved to be Rock Lee, who looked over to Naruto and Sakura with wide eyes.

"Be quiet. You're not the only ones here."

The three young shinobi looked around. Sakura gasped. "Kakashi-sensei! You're here too." She looked slightly relieved.

"Where is here…?" muttered Lee, looking around. "This lake is completely unfamiliar to me. Are we in a different country? Perhaps some strange jutsu sent us here."

People were gaining their strength back. It appeared many of the twelve or so people were muttering to themselves about the lack of chakra or more the lack of being able to sense it. Naruto experimentally placed his hands together.

"_Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_"

Nothing happened. No poof of smoke; there wasn't even a flicker. Sakura and Lee watched in horror. Kakashi raised a brow.

Suddenly he and Sakura were trying the same thing, attempting to use regular jutsu, only to find that nothing was happening.

Naruto looked around. Now that they were standing, they could clearly see, under the moonlight, that there were many more accompanying them.

"Oh!" gasped Sakura. "Tsunade-shishou!" She dashed over to where the Hokage was slumped against a long-dead tree stump. She knelt beside her mentor and began speaking to her in hushed tones.

Naruto looked further along. His disbelief continued to grow; several of the people he was positive he was seeing were supposed to be dead, such as the old man sprawled over the ground not far from Tsunade. He gaped. "Ero-Sennin!" he exclaimed. He bounded away a moment later.

"What the hell…?" growled a voice some yards down the shore. "Where the… Where's that damned village…?" The confused voice continued grumble until a slighter figure next to him sat up silently. The larger man glanced at the smaller figure, then did a double take, mouth falling agape. "What the fuck is going on?"

The slighter man stood silently and took in his surroundings. His black eyes closed momentarily and he frowned in concentration, and then opened his eyes again. His frown deepened. He looked down at the large man still staring at him.

"Kisame," he said monotonously. "Where are we?" Though it was a voiced question, it hardly even sounded like one; it was as if he had stated it.

Kisame snorted. "Hell if I know. I was wandering near your village when some… _thing_ happened, and then all of these people were falling into this lake." He shrugged.

Itachi didn't react. He looked up at the moon, a light frown still marring his smooth features. "I cannot activate my Sharingan," he said quietly. "Nor can I sense chakra."

"The rest of us have figured this out already."

Itachi gave Kisame a long look, and then looked up and down the shore. His gaze paused on each person, and as he took each presence in, his eyebrow rose further. He motioned along the shore.

"Almost half of these people were presume dead," he said. Kisame chose not to answer. Half the time Itachi spoke, it wasn't to anyone; he tended to think aloud. A lot. So the Mist-nin let the smaller man continue.

A loud, thoroughly pissed off voice interrupted, however.

"_What the hell?! _I can't do _anything_ right, can I? God damn it all! Can't I fucking die rightfully, yeah?"

The blond who had just stood up kicked a tree trunk. The beach was riddled with them; obviously the water was at a low, and was not natural, considering all the old… dead… plants.

Two voices replied to the angry one at once:

"Deidara-senpai!! You're alive! Tobi is so happy!"

And, "Deidara… shut up and think for a moment; shouldn't you be happy you're alive?"

And Deidara replied to both… somehow. "I am _not _happy I am alive!! And Tobi, shut up, yeah! I do not want to d – " He paused, blinking at both of the two near him. Tobi was happily sitting cross-legged _directly_ at Deidara's feet. The other was sitting on a log studying his body curiously. "Didn't I kill you in my fight with the Uchiha-brat, hmm?" asked Deidara, looking at Tobi.

Tobi happily shook his head, but said nothing. So Deidara turned his attention to the red-haired person. "Sasori-danna?"

Sasori looked up. "What?"

Deidara threw his hands in the air and stalked away. "I give up! I'm not even going to _try_ to comprehend this!"

As he past Itachi and Kisame (the two were at the end of the line of people on the beach) he let out a frustrated hiss. "I'd hoped your brother would have killed you after I died, yeah. Fuckin' ridiculous."

"He did," replied Itachi bluntly.

Deidara hissed again and kept walking.

Kisame chuckled, then looked back at the people spread before them. "Damn… do we seriously know all of these people?" he mumbled.

Itachi looked up. "We do. There are seven Konoha shinobi, five of Akatsuki…" he trailed off as his eyes fell on a figure shadowed by a larger-than-average tree stump. "My brother." He motioned to the tree, and Kisame snorted. "And his mentor." Further down the shore, the snake master, Orochimaru, was, like many others, attempting to perform some sort of jutsu.

"Well, this is interesting," said Kisame with a smirk. "We got three 'groups' who all severely dislike each other. And none of us have any chakra to settle a fight! Good old fist fights are always fun…" His smirk turned plain savage as he looked over the others.

Itachi sighed minutely. "We need to figure out our whereabouts before settling any disputes, Kisame," he said matter-of-factly, looking around at the lake and sky.

Kisame shrugged. "Um… a lake. Nowhere familiar. But, it's night. Maybe we'll figure it out in the morning."

Itachi opened his mouth to reply, but a noise stopped him. Deidara, who hadn't gone far past him and the shark, stood up from his pout in the dirt and glanced from the odd group to the bend of the shoreline further away.

Voices were coming from somewhere over there.

"I'm telling you, I heard people screaming in the lake, and they came this way."

"Jessica's right; I think I saw someone out there. The moon is pretty bright tonight."

"I don't care. I'm too hyped up to go to bed anyway."

"I'm fucking tired. I can't believe you dragged me out here."

"Eh… I really don't care… I kind of agree with Christina."

Itachi tensed instinctively, and noted that everyone around them had stood up, save for two people far down. He recognized them at the Hokage and her apprentice, who remained crouched beside her, but in a guarded position.

The voices continued.

"Well, why are we investigating? It's fucking Sly Park. It's probably a bunch of drunk assholes deciding it's fun to go fishing in the dark. And… they probably fell off their boat. And didn't know how to get back on."

"Wow, Sam. You're really kind."

Lights were flashing and moving in view now. They were flashlights.

"Are they a threat?" whimpered Tobi, backing up to stand slightly behind Sasori; the red-head glared at him.

"I don't know you; still, I don't like you now, and won't ever, judging by Deidara's reaction." He turned away and promptly ignored Tobi by walking up to stand by Deidara.

One figure turned the corner, swiftly followed by four others. They stopped dead upon seeing the rather large group spread across the shore.

"You know, I can see better without the flashlight…"

Whoever had spoken turned off her flashlight, and the others followed, oddly. This allowed a better view of them; Sasori recognized one male and four girls, by the look of it. The one in the lead, and also one of the tallest, was female and had her head cocked to the side.

"Um… hi?" she called. "Why are you just… staring?"

"I don't think they're a threat," muttered Kisame with a huff. "Maybe good fun, though. Hi!" he called out with a laugh.

A surprised squeak came from someone behind the tall girl. The short one on her right hummed curiously. "He sounds familiar. Jessica, does he sound familiar?"

"How should I know? I heard him mutter something, and then he said 'Hi.' Yeah. I'm gonna fucking recognize something from that."

Kisame had the idea Jessica was sending a very blatant stare to the short girl.

One of the other girls, whom Kisame guessed had squeaked, bounced forward in front of Jessica. "Hiyeee!!" she exclaimed, waving frantically. "I'm Christina! I'm a good person! Really~ Do… you… um. Yeah. What? Oh!" She giggled at her own stuttering. "Any cute guys over there?"

"Good Gods, she is _shitfaced_!" exclaimed Deidara.

"Oh, yeah, whoa. Chelsea… He sounds familiar too," muttered Jessica. "What the hell? Do we know all of these people?"

Quite suddenly, the obnoxious Kyuubi-vessel bounded forward, past the Akatsuki (former?) members to stand in the front of the group.

"Where are we?" he demanded. "I've never seen this lake before... and then we just… fall into it!" looked around, crossing his arms. He paused, suddenly looking at the people around him, and blinked several times. Then he was suddenly dragged back, away from the Akatsuki members by Sakura, who was muttering something about threats.

Jessica pushed the drunk girl out of the way and looked down at the short girl, Chelsea. Suddenly their flashlight were on again, and they were flying swiftly over the faces of the fourteen shinobi.

Six different reactions followed:

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. What?!"

"What the fuck?! No way! KISAME!"

"Ooooooh… Wow." Followed by a thump (this was suspected to be from the drunken girl).

"Oh, shit! That's so awesome!"

"What? This shouldn't even be possible…"

Deidara blinked several times, then turned around and gave Kisame a very skeptical look. "Are we in Mizu, hmm? 'Cause one of them just shouted your name. Happily."

Kisame looked as perplexed as Deidara.

"Yeah… I would recognize Mizu. There are no trees like this… the terrain is more like Kumo."

"Or Iwa, yeah…" agreed Deidara, looking around. He looked back at the five odd people and put a hand up to block the flashlights. "Turn the fucking flashlight off!"

They switched off immediately.

* * *

Jessica nearly fainted. Christina _had_ fainted. Chelsea was wondering out loud (albeit quietly) whether to jump Kisame, while Gabriel was quietly naming every person he recognized. Samantha was a few feet away, trying to figure out how the whole thing had happened at all.

"Chels!" snapped Jessica. "Shut up. Think. Could they hurt us?"

"Oh… good question," said Chelsea, smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" Jessica smacked her forehead, then waved at the people in front of them.

"Um… we obviously know where you are right now, and you obviously don't. If you promise not to, like, attack us or anything, we can help you out."

"How do we know to trust you?" asked someone next to Deidara.

Jessica squinted, and managed to make out red hair. She nearly squealed.

"I could tell you a lot more than you think about you guys," said Jessica with a smirk.

"Really?" challenged Deidara.

Jessica laughed. "Yeah, I can, Deidara."

"You heard someone else say my name."

Jessica shrugged. "No one mentioned that you're a missing-nin from Iwagakure and you were supposedly killed by your own explosion in an attempt to kill Uchiha Sasuke."

Silence followed.

Chelsea spoke up. "The five of you in front of us are Akatsuki members. All of you but Tobi and Kisame should be dead."

"Do you guys realize they might take this as more of a threat than something to trust us with?" muttered Sam.

Jessica paused. "I didn't think about that."

Deidara was staring at Jessica oddly. "Why should we trust you with this, hmm? It just means you've read the Bingo Book."

"True," said Jessica. "You use your kekkai genkai, the hands in your palms to create bombs, though that's in the Bingo Book too, I should think." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You have an obsession with art, and in your views, art is fleeting, something that lasts in one quick moment. You tend to argue with Sasori over your views on art."

"That's not in the Bingo Book," said Kisame, glancing at Deidara.

Deidara stared at Jessica like she had grown a second head. "How do you know that?" he asked guardedly.

Jessica smiled. "Follow us and we'll tell you. Seriously; we can help you out."

Kisame looked at Deidara, then at Itachi. "I don't really think they can do anything to us. I don't think anyone can use chakra here. So there's not really anything to loose, right?"

Itachi nodded. "I agree."

Deidara growled. "Whatever."

Tobi suddenly appeared by Deidara, and poked him before pointing behind them. "What about them, Deidara-senpai?"

Jessica looked past the Akatsuki members to the other nine people. Most were from Konoha. She looked at Sam and Gabriel.

"Sam and Chelsea, can you go and work things out with everyone from Konoha? Try to get Sasuke and Orochimaru to go with you, too," instructed Jessica. She looked back at the Akatsuki members.

"Follow me, if you will," she said. She glanced at Christina, who lay drooling in dirt next to her. "Ah… CHRIS!"

Christina jerked and looked blearily up at Jessica. "Hey, Jess. What… what am I doing on the ground?"

Jessica sighed. "How do you sober up after only five minutes rest? I will never understand you." She waved her hand. "Whatever. Just walk with me. I'll explain along the way." She started walking along the shore while Chelsea and Sam walked around them. Gabriel looked around awkwardly, then jogged to catch up to Jessica and Christina.

Kisame followed the three people with an amused expression. He just enjoyed the chaos. It was entertaining. He watched Jessica explain them to the Christina girl, who had apparently sobered up. The single male in the group walked next to Jessica, glancing back at them occasionally.

Deidara sighed and followed Sasori after the odd people. Tobi bounded along beside him, much to his annoyance. Deidara sped up to keep in step with his former partner, and was glad that Tobi seemed to be less inclined to walk with him then.

Jessica was motioning to them occasionally and talking to Christina. He noted it was a continuous effort for her to keep her short, wavy auburn hair out of her eyes. He almost laughed when he realized her hair was much like Sasori's, just a little longer and had less red in it.

Christina was glancing back at them now and again, eyes wide.

Deidara sighed. He just wanted to know what was up. He was relieved when they finally stopped, and Jessica motioned for them to sit where they wanted. She herself sat on a tall stump that had been artificially smoothed out on top. On a curved root, Christina sat down, below Jessica. Tobi sat down cross-legged against a stump while Sasori sat down on it and Deidara stood next to him. Kisame and Itachi both stood.

Jessica shrugged. "Well, I'm going to guess your first question would be, 'Why the hell don't we have chakra?' So I'll explain that first." She glanced around. "To put it bluntly, chakra doesn't exist here."

"That's impossible," said Deidara immediately.

"No, it's not," said Jessica stubbournly. "Haven't you ever read science-fiction novels about alternate universes?"

Deidara glared.

"So," continued Jessica, "chakra doesn't exist because you were moved through to a different dimension."

"Weird," muttered Kisame. "How is that possible?"

"There are plenty theories about there being millions of dimensions parallel to each other. No one knows how to get through to them, though."

"So, assuming this is the truth and we are in a separate dimension, how do we get back?" asked Sasori.

Jessica shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what got you here in the first place, so…" she trailed off with a sheepish look. "There's more, though, that you may find even less disbelieving."

"Perfect, yeah," muttered Deidara.

Christina reached underneath her and dragged a backpack out of a small hole in the tree. Obviously the stump was visited by them often. From within the pack she drew out a book. No one could read it from where they sat, but Kisame slowly moved forward to take the book.

While he looked at it, Jessica began talking. "You are, in our world, characters. Characters from a manga named after the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, Naruto. That's how I knew so much about you."

"That's ridiculous," said Sasori. "Could you please tell us something realistic already? This is getting tiring."

Kisame threw the book at Sasori, who automatically reached a hand up and caught it. He looked at in the moonlight, and his eyes widened.

Kisame nodded. "She's telling the truth. That's some random volume, but it's go you in it. Fighting Pinkie."

Deidara's eyes widened and he snatched the book from Sasori and looked through it fleetingly. "What the hell?"

Jessica nodded. "Will you believe you're in a separate dimension now?"

"I do," said Kisame, grinning.

"As unrealistic as it seems, this proves it," said Sasori, pointing to book Deidara was still looking at incredulously.

"This thing has it down right to quotes, yeah!" he exclaimed, scowling.

"Glad you finally noticed," snorted Kisame. He looked back to Jessica, who was watching them with a small smile.

"So," he said slowly, "you and your friends are, I assume, fanatic readers of this manga, therefore you know almost everything there is to know about us?"

Jessica nodded. "Mainly just characters we really like," she corrected.

Kisame looked like he was stifling a laugh. "You like Deidara, then?"

The blond's head snapped up and he blinked at Kisame and Jessica, frowning.

Jessica huffed. "What of it? I know a lot about Sasori, too."

"So you like both of them! Naughty," muttered Kisame, turning away. He flinched when a stick hit him in the head, and glanced back at Deidara, but he was looking at Sasori with wide eyes. Then he looked at Kisame and cocked his head.

Kisame snorted a laugh. "Well, Jessie, what do you know about Sasori, then?"

Jessica glared. "Don't call me Jessie. When did you learn my name, anyway?"

"You guys weren't really quiet, yeah," muttered Deidara. "We heard you before we saw you."

Jessica sighed, but ignored the comment.

"You said you could help us," said Itachi, looking at Jessica. "You have only just explained what happened to us. How can you help?"

Jessica smiled. "We'll help you out in this world. I don't know how to get you back to your world, sadly," she said. "But we can make you more comfortable while you stay here, if you're willing to accept our help."

"I'm for it," said Kisame.

"You're for everything, yeah," said Deidara.

"Tobi will stay with the kind people!" said Tobi, bouncing where he sat in the dirt.

Jessica looked at Itachi and Sasori.

Sasori lazily shrugged. "I'd prefer to get back to our world as soon as possible, but there isn't anything waiting for me there. I accept your help."

"Hah," huffed Kisame. "Most of Akatsuki is gone. There really isn't anything there for us right now."

Itachi nodded. "I accept."

Jessica clapped her hands. "Then it's settled! We'll help you!"

Deidara scowled. "You didn't even ask my opinion, yeah."

Jessica gave him a mockingly sweet smile. "We know you'll follow Sasori wherever you go, so I didn't bother."

Deidara opened his mouth to retort, and then closed his mouth and scowled again. Jessica smiled triumphantly and Sasori sighed.

Suddenly a harsh yelling filled the quiet night.

"You are not stopping me from going anywhere, shorty! I need to talk to them."

"Get the fuck back here, you little inconsiderate _asshole!_"

The voices turned out to belong to Chelsea and Naruto. Apparently Naruto had figured out where the Akatsuki members were. Chelsea was chasing him.

The blond stopped a huffed for a moment, glaring at them.

Jessica bounded off of the stump and jogged up to Chelsea and Naruto.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Naruto motioned to the five behind Jessica. "I think they have something to do with this whole thing! I think something Pein did is what triggered this thing."

"They're just as shocked as you are, okay?" said Jessica, scowling. "There was no need to run over here. I thought you would attack them at first."

Naruto slumped, and sent a fleeting glare over Jessica's shoulder. She snapped her fingers and his gaze returned to her. She looked back at Chelsea and asked, "So, what's up?"

Chelsea shrugged. "We showed them one of the volumes. They believed us immediately after that. But Naruto heard that you were talking to them and bounded off immediately, shouting something about Pein and resurrection. I'm not sure they can stay together..."

Christina came up next to Jessica. "I'll take the Konoha nin," she offered, smiling.

Jessica looked at her gratefully. "Thank you Christina. We'd love that."

Behind Chelsea the rest had arrived, led by Sam. Jessica frowned. "Where are Sasuke and Orochimaru?" she asked Chelsea.

The brunette shrugged. "Sasuke just walked away down the shore, claiming he'd be fine on his own, and Orochimaru sort of… followed." She shrugged. "I don't really care."

Jessica shrugged too. "Okay, then." She looked at the Konoha-nin. "Hey! You all are going with Christina! She's the blonde girl here! Follow her now. She's a good friend, don't worry."

The confused people followed Christina as she waved them over. "Let's go home! I'll tell you about this world some more while we head over there." She disappeared around another corner in the shore, still talking.

Sam looked around from Chelsea and Jessica to the Akatsuki and Gabriel, who was slumped against the tree stump, sleeping.

"What say we get back to the tents for some sleep before we head home early?" suggested Chelsea, glancing at Gabriel.

"Agreed," said Jessica. They walked back over to the stump, and Jessica smiled. "We're going to go back to our camp now. We'll stay there for the night and then we'll take you to where you'll stay. Come on!"

Jessica took the lead, knowing the lake the best, and they began walking along the shore in the opposite direction of Christina.

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**Chapter Two:**

Deidara snorted. "What? No artistic complaints, yeah? I'm shocked, Sasori-danna."

Smiling in a mockingly soft way, Sasori retorted, "There's nothing to complain about when your roommate agrees with your views on art."

Deidara spluttered.


	2. Chapter 2

**This was slightly more delayed than I intended, because I recently read something... and realized I had a character horribly OOC. So I changed it around a bit... I mean, the characters won't all be perfectly in character... it's a crack-fic. But I try to keep them... themselves. At least as much as possible. Well, here's chapter two. Three will follow soon. Review with thoughts and questions~ If you see a typo, please point it out and I'll edit it. On we go!**

**This is more the average of what my chapter length will be, by the way. The first chapter was just... a freak of nature. I don't really know.**

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**Chapter Two**

Jessica led the way into the single-story red house as if she owned it. The five newcomers followed, looking slightly nervous (except for Itachi, who looked normal).

Chelsea growled and jogged up to Jessica, grabbing her by the back of shirt. She pulled her back and yelled, louder than necessary, "This is my house, bitch! Don't walk in like you own it!"

Jessica snorted. "We're roommates, whore," she retorted. She proceeded to turn around and spread her arms wide. "Welcome," she said loudly, "to the House of Chaos. Make yourselves at home." And she promptly walked past a fuming Chelsea and into the house.

Sam and Gabriel walked in after the Akatsuki. Sam stopped next to Chelsea and laughed. "Go inside. Break a plate! We don't mind." She pushed her friend into the house and walked after her.

Jessica was standing in the living room, pointing to the doors and giving a tour of the house. "That door there," she pointed to the one going straight off of the living room, "is Sam's room. By the kitchen there is Chelsea's room. My room is just past there, at the entrance to the hall. Next to that is the bathroom." She smiled triumphantly at her little speech. "And that door across the room is the guest room"

Chelsea was quickly turning red with anger and just as she was about to launch into what was likely another This-is-My-House speech, Sam smartly cut her off.

"Enough with the tour," she said, shoving Chelsea into one of the stools at the counter. "Where are they sleeping?"

Jessica's gaze automatically shifted to Deidara, then to Sasori, then back to Deidara.

Sam scowled and began her speech. "I think you two are best alone," she said, pointing to Itachi and Kisame. "Kisame can sleep in the guest room; Itachi can either share or take the couch." She turned to the remaining three, pausing to glance meaningfully at Jessica.

"Tobi can bunk with Chelsea." Tobi gave Sam thumbs up to indicate he was okay with the arrangement. "Deidara will in my room and Sasori can stay with Jessica. Understood?"

"Fine with me," said Kisame, grinning.

"Of course it is with you," growled Deidara. "You've got your own room, yeah!"

"Wasn't my choice," smirked the shark. He waved and walked into the guest room. Itachi silently followed.

"We'll each show you your rooms," said Jessica, smiling. She beckoned for Sasori to follow her and he did so, a thoughtful frown marring his features.

"You should have seen this place a year ago," said Jessica, turning her head and flashing a half-grin at Sasori. "It was so dirty. Chelsea's mom slept in here."

The queen size bed was pushed against the far wall to the right. The dresser was inside the closet, leaving little room for the few articles of clothing hanging next to it. Next to the door was a small desk with papers scattered all over it.

Jessica continued to talk, now on the topic of how she and Chelsea had gotten the house. Sasori paid little attention, but instead looked fleetingly through the papers on the desk.

They were an assortment of both writing and artwork. Cartoonish drawings mingled oddly with detailed portraits of random people.

On the wall were three portraits lined in pen. The two women flanked the one man, and all three were titled with the same name he had seen on several of the writings. It appeared Jessica was writing a book.

"…so now Chelsea, Sam and I live here. We're going to college when summer is over."

Sasori looked up and blinked. He had stopped listening fairly soon after she had started talking. Choosing not to mention it, the redhead motioned to the desk.

"Is art your profession?" he asked.

Jessica visibly perked up. "Ah – yes. I love to draw and write. But I prefer drawing and photography.

Sasori nodded. "Hm. Your preference?" he demanded simply.

Jessica laughed, understanding what he was implying. "I don't like to set anything like that on fire." She giggled. "I value my art and try to preserve it."

She pointed to an abstract work on the wall by the bed. It was a drawn kaleidoscope, the spokes connected by a web of lines. The fiery colours completed the look. "I created this when I was fourteen, in my first grade of high school. That was almost four years ago." She smiled brightly. "I like to save my best artwork."

Sasori hadn't really shown any emotion other than faint curiosity. But Jessica was pleased that he showed any emotion at all.

She all but melted when he cracked a small smile.

"I like your preferences," he said, glancing around the room. "They're certainly better than Deidara's."

"Of course _you_ think they are," said Jessica cheerily. She glanced at the bed and shrugged. "You can decide whether you want the bed or not. I don't care." She shrugged with a smile. "Let's go see what the others are doing!"

She bounded out of the room, dragging a rather shocked Sasori behind her by the wrist.

Gabriel was sitting awkwardly on the couch facing the large windows. Kisame was lounging comfortably on the other couch, feet up on the coffee table. Itachi was staring out the window into the forest.

Jessica let go of Sasori and threw her arms around Gabriel from behind. He jumped and let out a sound of alarm and Jessica straightened, satisfied.

As Jessica (once again) pulled Sasori after her and sat down next to Kisame, Chelsea walked out of her room with a bouncing Tobi following. She perched on the armrest next to Gabriel. Tobi sat down next to Gabriel, still bouncing slightly.

"Chelsea-san has a nice bedroom!" exclaimed the masked boy.

Chelsea chucked. "He thought the TV and computer were very fun."

"TVs are very uncommon where Tobi is from!" said Tobi. "And I have never ever seen a computer!"

"Stop yelling. Do you realize how annoying that is, yeah?"

Deidara bashed Tobi over the head with a fist then moved to the other couch and motioned for Kisame to make some room. He sat down in the space provided next to Jessica.

Sam stood against the closed door to her room, looking at the odd group. "So, how are we with the arrangements?" she asked, glancing around.

"Suits me," said Kisame, smirking at Deidara. The blond ignored him with a frown.

"Tobi likes it!" said Tobi happily.

"I guess it'll work, yeah," mumbled Deidara.

Itachi nodded. Everyone took that as a 'yes'.

Sasori shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with it."

Deidara snorted. "What? No artistic complaints, yeah? I'm shocked, Sasori-danna."

Sasori fleetingly glanced at Jessica, who snorted softly. Smiling in a mockingly soft way, Sasori retorted, "There's nothing to complain about when your roommate agrees with your views on art."

Deidara spluttered, glaring at Jessica who shrugged with a small smile. His eyes narrowed and he started at her for a long moment until Jessica looked away, huffing.

Chelsea clapped. "All right! Living arrangements are settled!" She grinned. "I want to know what you guys think of our world so far. And be serious." She glanced at Tobi knowingly.

"Yeah… is it okay, despite not having chakra?" asked Jessica, looking around at everybody.

Tobi raised his hand shyly. "I think… I think it's actually better without chakra…" he shrugged. "Because people are regarded more equally here. They're judged for personality and not by ability."

The room was silent and Tobi shifted uneasily beneath the gazes of everyone in the room. Suddenly a squeal broke the silence and Chelsea threw herself on Tobi, hugging him tightly around the neck.

"That is perfect, Tobi!" she said, pulling back.

Jessica sat staring at Chelsea, mouth half open. She muttered so low only Deidara and Sasori could hear, "She's possessed. No other way. Definitely possessed."

Several moments passed while Chelsea smiled brightly at Tobi and the others stared, somewhat shocked, at the two. Suddenly, someone else broke the silence.

"We are not hated."

All eyes turned onto Itachi, who was still staring out the window. But he had definitely been the one to speak.

Sasori nodded after realizing Itachi wasn't going to elaborate. "You're right. There has been nothing negative spoken to us since we arrived. I don't believe this has to do with who you say we are, either." He glanced at Tobi and huffed lightly. "We're not judged by our abilities and there's nothing we've done wrong here." Despite the fact that he had spoken of such a thing in a positive manner, he frowned slightly and fell silent, as if deep in thought.

Everyone nodded at once as though in a daze. There was silence once again for a few moments until Kisame spoke and effectively broke the serious air.

"The technology here makes up for the lack of ability," he said with a grin. "Seriously, those car things are just weird."

Chelsea chuckled from where she still sat in Tobi's lap. "Just don't try to work the thing yourself. That would be rather disastrous."

Light discussion about technology followed; some time later, Gabriel excused himself with the explanation that he needed to get back to his girlfriend of two years, Katrina, and headed home. Shortly after, Jessica stood up.

"I need to straighten up and make room for a bed on the floor," she explained, and walked to her room. Sasori silently stood up and followed her.

Several pairs of eyes followed them, and Deidara scowled.

"Aw!" exclaimed Sam, giggling. "Jessie has a puppy!"

"Do _not_ call me Jessie!" snarled a voice from Jessica's room. "And he is not my puppy!"

Chelsea and Sam just laughed.

"Why did he follow her, anyway?" snorted Deidara.

"Maybe he doesn't want to be near dumb blonds," said Kisame. "Why do you care, anyway?" he continued as he blocked Deidara's punch. "Jealous?"

"I'm just annoyed, yeah," said Deidara. He huffed again and stood up and stalked into Sam's bedroom.

Kisame laughed. "Drama already? I expected it with three girls here, but this is pretty quick… and sad."

Sam rolled her eyes. "With these two," she pointed to Chelsea and Jessica's bedroom door, "guy drama is a constant in our lives."

"I think Deidara is more pissed about Jess liking Sasori's preference in art," said Chelsea. "And Sasori is rubbing it in for fun."

Kisame shrugged. "Sounds like them. Always going about their art." He snorted. "Who really cares about that kind of crap?"

Sam snorted. "Jessica does, for sure. Don't insult her art. She's about as touchy as Deidara."

"If that's even possible," laughed Chelsea.

"Deidara-senpai is touchy about everything, though," said Tobi.

The others nodded in agreement.

There was silence for a while, and then Tobi looked around and hummed. "Weren't there more people?" he said dazedly. "Do you know where they went?"

"Were you listening or _watching_ at the lake at all?" muttered Sam. "Most of those from Konoha went with our blonde friend Christina, dumbass. Sasuke disappeared, though, and I think Orochimaru followed him."

"Oh," said Tobi. "Okay! Will we get to see the other people later?"

Kisame snorted. Chelsea stifled a laugh and Sam shrugged.

"If Chris comes over, she's likely to bring someone with her. But they won't be happy to see you."

Tobi almost visibly deflated. "Because we're Akatsuki, right?"

"You _were_," said Chelsea determinedly. "You're in our world now. Akatsuki doesn't matter here." She looked firmly at the three members. "Got it?"

Kisame shrugged. "Not like I ever really cared about the organization. Mainly just the freedom and people were scared shitless of anyone with our cloaks. That helped us get around." He laughed.

"Tobi is happy with that!" said Tobi brightly.

Itachi turned around and looked fleetingly at Chelsea. "Is there peace in this world?" he asked monotonously.

Chelsea frowned. "Not… really. Where we are, it's quite peaceful. But war is a constant in life anywhere, I think…"

Itachi sighed minutely and turned around. "I do not mind this arrangement."

Chelsea smiled. "Good. I think I'm going to clean up a bit too. I don't have room for a bed on my floor right now. You want to help, Tobi?"

Tobi jumped up and followed Chelsea into her bedroom.

Kisame watched them go with a grin. "This… well," he said with a sigh. "I think I'm going to enjoy my stay here." He looked at Itachi. "What about you?"

Itachi stared blankly at Kisame. "Hm." He huffed and walked out of the living room and into the guest room. Kisame leaped up from the couch and followed Itachi.

"That's my room!" he called as he walked after the Uchiha. "You sleep on the couch! Hey!"

Sam sighed, now alone, and turned into her bedroom. Deidara was sitting on one of the two beds cross legged. He was concentrating on a lump of clay set on a hard-backed dictionary. The clay was beginning to faintly take on the form of some kind of animal.

"Do you only sculpt to blow it up afterward?" asked Sam, sitting down on her bed.

Deidara shook his head. "At Akatsuki's permanent base in Amegakure I had many sculptures that I valued immensely, yeah. Preferably birds. They represent freedom."

Sam cocked her head. "You like freedom, I see. Well, be happy! You've got no restraints in this world! Go wherever the hell you want." She waved her hand at the door. "But you can't kill… that's illegal." She giggled.

Deidara snorted. "I want to stay here for now, yeah," he said, shifting his attention back to the clay. "I like it here."

Sam nodded. "If anything, we can provide entertainment, right?"

"If anything," agreed Deidara.

Sam nodded then leaned over her bed and pulled her laptop out from under the bed. She flipped it open and made herself comfortable.

Chelsea was, at that moment, laying down a mat on her newly cleaned floor. Tobi was waiting with a bundle of sheets in his arms.

"So, I'll sleep on the floor; you can have the bed, Tobi," said Chelsea, taking the sheets from him.

"Tobi doesn't mind sleeping on the floor."

"I want to you to have the bed. You're the guest."

"But you're the lady. It's only polite."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Chelsea-chan will sleep on her bed!" Tobi then promptly collapsed on the newly made bed on the floor. Chelsea growled.

"Fine, I'll sleep on the bed," she said.

"Good!" Tobi stood up and clapped. Chelsea smiled warmly at Tobi, who sat down on the bed next to Chelsea.

"So what does Chelsea like to do in her spare time?" asked Tobi.

Chelsea shrugged. "Sam, Jessica and I all sing; one of our classes at the college is a vocal techniques class. But I really like playing video games, really. I'll have to show you some of those later." She smiled sadistically.

Tobi shrank back. "That doesn't look good," he said.

Chelsea waved her hand at him with a laugh. "Don't worry, Tobi. They're fun. It just takes a bit to get used to the games."

Tobi nodded. "Okay. That doesn't sound too bad."

Chelsea smiled. "I also have a job at the local grocery store with Jessica. We're both cashiers, and it's pretty good pay. April works at a Mexican restaurant."

"Mexican?" asked Tobi.

"Mexico is a country south of us. Their kind of food is very popular around the world," explained Chelsea.

"Oh, okay!" said Tobi.

"Yeah. Would you like me to tell you more about our world?"

"Yes please!" said Tobi, bouncing up slightly. So Chelsea began explaining Earth, starting with the countries.

Jessica stretched out on her bed with a contented sigh. Sasori sat cross-legged on the bed next to her, looking more closely at the drawings scattered on the walls.

A makeshift bed had been prepared on the floor after it had been cleared of books and clothing. It had taken most of their time to get the books onto the shelves stretching across one wall.

"So, are we going to argue over who takes the bed?" said Jessica lightly. "I think I just heard Tobi and Chelsea doing so."

"I don't care where I sleep," said Sasori.

"Neither do I. You choose," said Jessica.

A smile that Jessica couldn't see (for he was facing away) passed over the puppet-master's features fleetingly. It was gone when he cast a glance over his shoulder at Jessica and shrugged. She sighed.

"I don't want to choose. How about you just take the bed?" she suggested.

Sasori raised an eyebrow. "The woman is offering the bed to the man?" he asked in a semi-humorous voice.

"What's wrong with it?" snapped Jessica.

"Nothing. But I'd prefer – "

"I'm not going to argue!"

" Let me finish," he snapped. "I'd prefer we simply took turns."

Jessica blinked then laughed embarrassedly. "Oh. I thought you were going to tell me to take the bed… That happens to any guy who comes over here with any of us."

Sasori shrugged. "I'm not a selfless person," he said simply.

Jessica said nothing, but instead looked at her lap thoughtfully. "And we ended up arguing anyway." She snorted.

"Of course," said Sasori.

Jessica glared at him. "What does that mean? Did you know we'd end up arguing?"

He shrugged.

Jessica huffed. "Asshole."

He blinked, then looked at her with a disbelieving look. Jessica shrugged with a small smirk.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Sasori chose to ignore her, and instead shifted so he was leaning against the wall by Jessica's head.

"Do you like it here?" asked Jessica, settling back into her pillows contentedly.

"It's a hard thing to decide," he said. "But we aren't hated by everyone here. That alone makes it something to think about rather than answer 'no' immediately."

"But you chose to become a criminal," said Jessica with a slight frown.

"That is true," said Sasori. "And I don't regret leaving Suna. But it can be almost relieving, to have a second chance at a different lifestyle."

"So you're saying you're content with the life you had before, but now, alive again and… free, you're willing to have a life that's not full of death and constantly being on the run?"

He nodded. "The years built up, and eventually, running gets annoying. It repeats, over and over. Here is new, and though it may get boring, it isn't at the moment. And at the moment, I'm content to stay here."

Jessica nodded. "What about… being human?"

Sasori frowned. "It's hard," he said shortly. "One controls the body differently when human as compared to being a puppet." He frowned. "I feel vulnerable. Honestly, I'm not pleased with it… but I don't hate it right now."

She nodded slowly and closed her eyes, letting out a content sigh. "So you'll stay here for now?" she asked.

"Where else do I have to go?" he said tiredly. He didn't sound happy about being trapped, and Jessica understood, but she said nothing, and instead let herself fall into a light doze.

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

Sasori paused in the doorway, raising an eyebrow. Jessica blinked and leaned back in the chair, glancing at Deidara, who looked as though someone had dowsed one of his about-to-explode sculptures.

Sasori stalked over to Deidara and hit him (hard) over the head with a hardback book.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ah... Yeah, I know, it's been a hella long time since I updated. Sorry! I had trouble with a few things at the end. But it's here, at last. I'm very nervous, still, about how in character I am... I am going out of character, I know, but this is semi-crack; I just don't want to go completely out of character. If it's too much for your comfort, please tell me. Remember, any typos are my fault... I've got no beta. Enjoy~**

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* * *

  
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**Chapter Three**

Kisame chuckled darkly from where he sat on the couch. Chelsea turned her gaze from Jessica's bedroom door (where she had been practically burning a hole) to him, cocking her head.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing. I just noticed some things…" Kisame glance at Jessica's door then at Sam's door. He laughed again and stood up and walked into the guest room.

Chelsea frowned. "Cryptic bastard," she muttered, shaking her head.

She sat down just as Sam walked out of her bedroom, followed by Deidara, who held something in his hand.

"Check it out!" said Sam, pointing at Deidara's hand. "Look at what he made."

Deidara rolled his eyes. On the coffee table he set an intricately designed feline sculpture, no more than six inches long.

Chelsea gasped and leaned forward to look at the cat. When she looked closer, she noticed the thin, carved spots. "A leopard… that's beautiful."

Sam giggled. "Cats are Jessica's favorite animal," she stated. "Did you know that?"

Deidara frowned. "No, I didn't ,yeah…" He glanced at Jessica's door.

At the same time, Jessica opened the door and walked into the living room, followed shortly by Sasori.

"She's been in there all that time with him…?" muttered Chelsea thoughtfully.

Jessica leaned over to see what the others were looking at. Her eyes lit up immediately and she carefully swept the sculpture into her hands. Deidara's expression became nervous when she picked it up.

"This is amazing," said Jessica, tracing her fingers over the leopard. "You even engraved the spots." She smiled brightly at Deidara. "Did you keep a lot of your sculptures?"

Deidara nodded, carefully taking the small object from her. "I sculpted a lot without using my kekkei genkai, yeah," he said, glancing at his palms, now bare.

Jessica nodded. "That's cool. I never really got into sculpting; I just draw and such."

Chelsea nodded. "She draws and draws and draws. And then writes. Then draws some more."

"Shut up about the art already!" called a voice from the guest room.

Chelsea laughed then moved to her bedroom door. "I have to get ready for work," she said. "Behave yourselves!"

Deidara collapsed onto the couch and Jessica followed, still glancing at the leopard. Sam sighed and glanced at Sasori.

"Want to go outside?" she asked. "You still haven't been out much after four days here."

Sasori glanced at Deidara and Jessica then nodded, and followed Sam outside.

Jessica smiled and ran her finger over the little cat again.

"So, you draw, yeah?" said Deidara, leaning forward and setting the sculpture on the table.

"Yes," said Jessica. "You haven't seen my room. Sasori seems to like it."

He scowled at the mention of his former partner's name. "Of course he likes it; you agree with his views, yeah," he said rather bitterly.

Jessica huffed. "I prefer not to set my pictures on fire," she snapped. "It's not exactly like you aren't against it either," she countered. "And I don't think it's above yours."

Deidara was momentarily stumped. "Oh," he said, looking away. She laughed and stood up, beckoning for him to follow. He stood up, casting a questioning glance her way.

"I'll show you my room. Come on," she said, walking away.

Deidara passed Chelsea's room as she walked out. The short brunette raised an eyebrow.

"Where are you guys going, Jess?" she asked suspiciously, looking at her friend.

"I'm showing Deidara my room," said Jessica with a glare.

Chelsea smirked. "And you call me the whore!" she exclaimed, laughing.

Jessica promptly slapped Chelsea over the head as she walked away.

"Come on," she muttered, walking into her room. Deidara followed with a small smirk.

Jessica sat at her desk and began sorting the papers into piles of writing and piles of drawings. Deidara looked curiously around the room. She finally got the papers sorted and set the drawings aside. As she sorted the writing into order, she began talking.

"A lot of the art here is fairly old," she said lightly. "I prize it all, though."

Deidara's gaze fell upon three portraits in the corner. "Michael S. Matters Junior?"

Jessica walked over to the pictures. She looked at the picture of the young teenager. His head was bent and his long hair hid his eyes. He was laughing. "He's a family friend," she said. She pointed to the portrait of a woman titled Karen Strayte. "My mother."

Deidara noted she didn't move onto to the third portrait. "Who is Kelly G. Strayte?" The picture was a teenage boy glaring at the camera with shade on.

Jessica frowned and sat back down at her desk. "Kelly was my brother. He passed away two years ago."

Deidara glanced awkwardly at the picture then moved away. He didn't say anything, not really knowing what he could say. 'I'm sorry' just wasn't really right to him.

Jessica snorted. "I shouldn't even talk in front of you. You've probably lost a lot more than me."

"Which would make me stronger to death," stated Deidara. "Not you. It's only right grieve, yeah."

She stared at him blankly for several moments and he stared defiantly back. Finally, she smiled.

"I guess you're right," she said, turning around to her desk.

"Of course I am, yeah," said Deidara, effectively ruining the moment.

Jessica snorted then picked up the stack of drawings and threw them at him. He let out a sound of alarm as they scattered over the bed and him.

"Those are my modern works!" explained Jessica as the blond gathered up the papers. "I believe I have some pictures of you in there… as well as Itachi and Sasori."

"The Uchiha and Sasori-danna?" muttered Deidara skeptically. His eyes widened as he flipped through the pictures. Many pictures of the three she had mentioned were in the pile. All were very detailed and good.

"Wow. These look a lot like us, yeah," said Deidara, looking at a picture of himself and Sasori, comically bickering.

"Or course. I do read the manga… that must sound weird." She laughed.

Deidara shrugged. "I've gotten used to the initial shock, yeah." He stretched out on the bed and sighed contentedly.

"Make yourself at home," snorted Jessica.

"I will, yeah," he said brightly.

His decision was ruined however, when the door opened with a soft knock. Sasori paused in the doorway, raising an eyebrow. Jessica blinked and leaned back in the chair, glancing at Deidara, who suddenly looked as though someone had dowsed one of his about-to-explode sculptures.

Sasori stalked over to Deidara and hit him (hard) over the head with a hardback book.

"Ow!" yelled Deidara, clutching head. "What the hell was that for, yeah?"

"What are you doing in here?" snapped the redhead, ignoring his question.

"Talking, yeah. What of it?" huffed Deidara, glancing at Jessica.

"And you couldn't talk in the living room?"

"I was showing him my drawings," said Jessica, standing.

Deidara glared. "You jealous or something, hmm, Danna?" He huffed and stood up, brushing past Sasori and out of the bedroom.

Sasori looked after the blond then walked to the bed and sat down, shifting so he was cross-legged against the wall. He picked up the papers Deidara had collected and looked through them absently.

"You showed him pictures of us?" he said, half a question and half not.

"What of it?" asked Jessica. "I thought he would like to see them."

Sasori sighed and Jessica frowned at him. "Why were you mad at Deidara?" she asked. "It can't be simply because of who he is."

Sasori looked upward. "I like my privacy," he stated.

Jessica snorted. "You're bunking with a girl, and Deidara coming in here is an invasion of privacy?"

Sasori paused and shrugged. He said nothing, and continued to stare at the roof. Jessica sighed and stood up. She walked to the bed took the papers from the redhead. He looked down sharply then relaxed when he realized what she was doing.

The auburn-haired girl placed the drawings in a corner of her desk and walked to the door. "I'll give you your privacy then," she said with a smirk, and walked out of her room.

•

Chelsea walked into the house with three bags of deli chicken strips and three 2-litre bottles of soda.

Jessica and Sam were leaning over the coffee table with Tobi and Kisame. A map of California was spread on the table.

"This here," Jessica was saying, "Is where we are: Kollar Oaks."

They all looked up at the sound of Chelsea setting her load down and dropping her keys on the counter of the kitchen.

"I bring food," she said solemnly. "Lots of it."

The four stood up immediately and three of them crowded the bags while Jessica got plastic cups and plates. Deidara and Sasori emerged from their respective rooms at the sound of the commotion at the same time; Deidara glared at Sasori before grabbing a plate.

Itachi came out several minutes later when the mini crowd in the kitchen was down to Jessica cleaning up a spilt cup of Pepsi.

Kisame and the Uchiha retreated to the guest room to eat, and Deidara went with Sam back into her room.

Chelsea and Jessica sat on the barstools behind the couch and Tobi and Sasori sat down on the two couches.

Tobi rattled on about nothing in general with Chelsea the entire time they ate. Jessica joined in on the conversation occasionally, but tuned out most of what he was saying, as did Sasori.

Jessica hadn't been listening to Tobi for the past five minutes until he began talking about his being partnered with Deidara. As he recounted his interesting travels with the temperamental blond, Jessica noticed Sasori had started paying attention again as well.

"He left you to capture the three-tails alone…" chuckled Chelsea. "I remember reading that, yet I still hardly believe it."

"But he helped Tobi in the end," said Tobi cheerfully.

"He probably just got fed with your lack of talent," said Sasori suddenly. "And wanted to show off his 'art.' He was preaching about it, am I right?"

Tobi was silent for a moment, then he nodded. "I remember Senpai going on for a really long time while we were fighting it about how awesome his art was… and then he blew it up with fishy bombs! He likes to talk about his art."

"A single fact you two have in common," muttered Chelsea.

"We have many, actually," replied the redhead, looking at her. "I don't choose to exploit them, though. He'd probably try to kill me and I don't want to seem like him in any way."

Jessica hummed thoughtfully. "I see nothing wrong with Deidara other than his temperament," she stated. "And that could be worse."

Sasori scowled faintly. "His art is immature and ridiculous. It doesn't have any qualities."

"Of course it's always about art," drawled Chelsea. "Take it somewhere else!"

Jessica shrugged. "I don't mind it. But Chelsea is right. I can't think of anything else that could be to dislike about him."

Sasori paused, thinking for a moment. He huffed. "Our personalities clash too much," he sighed, looking out the window.

"And perhaps your upbringing," suggested Chelsea. She up and put her plate in the sink. "Your turn for dishes, Jess," she said. Then she disappeared into her room and Tobi followed her.

Sasori watched Jessica as she began straightening the kitchen and moved to sit at the counter. She was quietly grumbling insults about Chelsea. She was obviously used to the duty; it appeared the girls took turns.

"You discuss the… manga we're from like any fan would, no?" he said suddenly. Jessica paused in her work and nodded. Sasori hummed thoughtfully. "You have preferences to characters you like?"

Jessica shrugged. "I have a lot of favorite characters. But yes. We discuss who we like. We usually judge them by appearance and personality alike. As an example, Chelsea likes Kisame, mainly because of his personality."

Sasori snorted. "And who did you like?"

She glanced at Sasori with an odd look. "My favorite character was Deidara," she said. Sasori frowned noticeably and Jessica giggled. "What does it matter to you? Anyway, that changed slightly."

"How so?" asked the redhead, looking over at her.

"When I was in school, my friends and I cosplayed. You are familiar with the term?"

He nodded.

"Anyway," she continued, "During this, I cosplayed as you, because my friends thought I had a more similar personality to you than to Deidara. During the time cosplaying… I guess you could say I got attached." Jessica shrugged nervously. "Now, if I were to judge by favorite characters, you and Deidara tie. And now, knowing you in person, I still you like the two of you equally at the moment."

Sasori tilted his head. "At the moment?"

Jessica shrugged again. "It could change. I don't know. I don't _really_ know either of you much."

Sasori raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to reply. But he stopped when Kisame walked into the kitchen set his empty plate and cup down. He gave Jessica an odd look.

"What could change?" he asked. "Gonna fall in love?" He laughed and walked back into the guest room.

Jessica blushed furiously and turned away from Sasori, hanging the washcloth on the oven handle. She huffed. "Kitchen's done. I'm taking a shower," she mumbled, and disappeared into her room.

Sasori stared after the aburn-haired girl and sighed. He found the house he was living in to be fairly odd. It annoyed him greatly, but also proved entertainment. The activity around the place was slow, though. There was very little to do, yet it felt like he should be doing something and he was forgetting about it. Such a feeling made him restless.

The whole world in general was just weird. Most of the others agreed that the lack of chakra was strange, but not unwelcome. Though Sasori was almost inclined to agree with Tobi that it was better this way, he still couldn't forget his world. Back there, there were few who could defeat him, and the feeling of control that it gave him was exactly what he thrived on. Here, Sasori didn't have his abilities to control others by intimidation. Here, he looked like a teenage boy, due to his turning into a puppet. Had he not been near the top ability-wise, he would have agreed completely with Tobi. But he was near the top in talent, so he didn't completely agree.

This world was making him soft already.

He sighed.

•

Chelsea screamed playfully and slapped down another card on the table. She had taught Tobi how to play Speed, and two-person card came, and he was now in love it and better than Chelsea.

Kisame sat on the couch next to Chelsea. Tobi was kneeling on the floor across the coffee table from her. Deidara was lazily going through one of Jessica's many sketchbooks, which he had retrieved when sneaking around her room while she was at work. Sasori sat next to him, scowling. Sam was (however odd it was) conversing with Itachi in her room.

"Jessica-san can play this, right?" asked Tobi. "Will she be back from work soon?"

Chelsea nodded. "But it doesn't matter; after eight days here, we've finally decided you guys need clothing so you can fit in with the world," she announced cheerfully. "So tonight, we're going into the valley for shopping!"

Tobi was extremely excited about this and almost forgot about the mini tournament of Speed. "We get to see other parts of this world! That's great!"

Deidara huffed. "Whatever, yeah. It's boring around here anyway."

"And what if people recognize us like you did?" asked Sasori bluntly.

Chelsea smiled. "Well, I thought about that with Sam," she said. "Your hairstyle is fairly common; we can just make it less messy, and you'll be fine."

Sasori nodded. "And what about the others? They're a little more distinguished, aren't they?"

"Deidara has to put all of his hair up," explained the brunette. "And he'll have to pull his bangs away."

Deidara looked thoroughly unhappy.

Sam walked out of her bedroom, Itachi trailing behind her. "We'll just part Itachi's hair differently and leave it down," she said, sitting down next to Chelsea.

Chelsea looked at Kisame. Though his skin wasn't completely normal, it was no long blue. It was just extremely pale, and didn't have quite the regular "warmth."

"You're fine, actually. People aren't likely recognize you without your skin and headband," said Chelsea. She looked at Tobi.

"Unless you claim you're cosplaying, Tobi, which is ridiculous, you have to take off the mask."

Tobi froze where he sat and fell into dead silence.

"T-Tobi has to take off the m-mask?" he stuttered.

"Yeah," said Chelsea. "Come on. I'd prefer now. So you can get used to it."

Tobi whimpered. "Can't I stay here?"

"Please do," muttered Deidara and Sasori at the same time. They scowled at each other, then looked away. Deidara crossed his arms with an annoyed huff.

"Oh, for God's sake, take off the mask," muttered Deidara. "I could force it off."

Tobi whimpered again. Slowly he reached up and slid his mask off, looking down immediately.

"That wasn't too hard, was it?" said Chelsea, smiling. "Now look up."

"No," said Tobi stubbornly.

Sasori scowled. "Would you like us to leave the room? You're pathetic." Chelsea glared hard at Sasori who stared right back. He stood up and dragged Deidara with him. "Go put that sketchbook away."

Deidara huffed but didn't protest and walked to Jessica's room with his partner close behind him.

Chelsea huffed and hit Tobi over the head. He yelped and covered where she had hit him with his hands, glaring up at the brunette. Kisame snorted and stalked into the guestroom, mumbling something about gullible idiots.

"There!" said Chelsea happily. "Now it's done. What were you so scared of?"

Tobi looked normal; short, spiky black hair and rather fair skin. The only unusual thing was that his eyes were two different colors. One was brown and the other was emerald green.

He shrugged, looking away. Chelsea hummed thoughtfully and poked him below the green eye. "Why do you cover this eye with your mask?" she asked.

Tobi's gaze followed Sam as she and Itachi walked back into her room. Then he looked back at Chelsea and shrugged with a bright smile.

"Tobi can't see with his left eye. So why have a place where it can see through?"

Chelsea frowned. "Why can't you see?"

"I was born like that," he said with a shrug.

At that moment, Jessica walked into the house with a bright smile.

"Oi! Get your asses out here!" she shouted. "We're going shopping!"

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

As Chelsea and Jessica laughed at their jokes, Kisame noted that Tobi, Deidara and Sasori looked quite... well, pissed at the boys, who looked just a little too confident and comfortable with the three girls.

Silence fell as Deidara smoothly slid up beside Jessica, looping an arm lazily around her waist, and grinned at the guys. "You think you're cool, yeah?" he said arrogantly.

Kisame nearly choked as Tobi boldly pulled Chelsea against his chest, arms around her waist. Itachi raised an eyebrow thoughtfully while Sasori scowled and stood between Deidara and Sam. The tallest of the group grinned and waited for the boys' responses as they spluttered at the blond.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm pretty sure I deserve to be tortured for this wait to my meager viewers... but there were readers! And that's all that matters! Just... don't kill me! I'll be honest, I guess, and say that I had no excuse for taking so long. I just... stopped righting. I'm sorry! Sadly, my updates will most likely be few and far between... I'll try for once a month, if that. You can pester me... I don't mind. My real life friends will too, I'm sure. So... I'll get it done! Just not swiftly like the first few chapters were.**

**Remember: I have no beta. If there are horrible errors, tell me! I'll fix them... I was rushed publishing this, but I hope it's alright.**

******Here is, finally, chapter four of Into the Real.**

**Chapter Four**

The group of seven posed as a rather different sight, despite the fact that the men were now relatively unrecognizable. Despite this, however, none of this group was the kind that blended in with the crowd.

Chelsea was currently giggling rather maniacally while she dug around in a bag of candy, looking for a certain kind. Tobi was attempting to sneak his hand in to take some candy too, grinning.

Jessica glanced back at them and sighed from where she walked up front. A few steps behind her, Deidara and Sasori were bickering over something in hushed tones. No one even attempted to figure out what it was they were arguing about.

Sam was weaving around everyone, not really staying in one place and suggesting completely random stores to walk into.

They were currently walking through the mall that the girls went to most often. Jessica had suggested the Brookstate Mall because they knew it so well, and it wasn't as long a drive as the other two in the area. So far the group had visited two stores and successfully managed to get a bag of clothing for Tobi and Itachi. They were still searching for other three.

Tobi pulled away from Chelsea's candy with a chocolate covered cherry and smiled triumphantly before shoving the round treat into his mouth. With one hand he straightened the black and orange beanie he had bought. Chelsea had claimed it looked cute, so he had bought it.

Jessica paused by another store and looked around, as if sizing each person up. She looked at the store, which had a relatively distinctive style, then back at the others.

Finally, she marched up to Chelsea and pushed her into the store. Then she grabbed both Deidara and Sasori by an arm each and dragged them after her. Over her shoulder, she called, "Sam, go find some more stuff for the others!"

Sam sighed and shrugged. "Come one, then," she said, motioning for the others to follow.

"But I want to go with Chelsea-san," said Tobi, bouncing up to the blonde. Sam glared at him and poked him in the head.

"I don't care!" she said cheerfully. "You're coming with Itachi, Kisame and I. Now get moving!"

She shoved him in front of her and they began walking again.

Kisame laughed as he glanced into the shop the others had gone into. "It scares me that Jessica is always practically dragging those two everywhere," he chuckled.

Sam snorted. "They don't seem to mind." She paused. "Well, Sasori usually looks pretty annoyed, actually… but Deidara's just shocked most of the time."

"But neither of them make an attempt to stop, do they?" added Tobi, looking around at them. "Perhaps they like Jessica-san?"

At this Kisame laughed harder. "I've walked in on some odd conversations between them, that's for sure," he said. "Like Jessica telling Sasori about how you guys have 'favorite characters' like you would in any manga or book."

Sam huffed. "Yeah, we do. Jessica's were always Deidara and Sasori. It's pretty obvious."

"She said it's subject to change," said the large man with a chuckle.

Sam shrugged. "I'll slap her if she or Chelsea ends up liking anyone," she mumbled.

Kisame snorted. "Do you regulate the drama between your friends?"

Sam nodded dejectedly. "It seems so. Those two are ridiculous sometimes."

Tobi hummed thoughtfully. "Why is it a problem for them to like one of us like that?" he asked innocently.

Kisame and Sam both sighed.

"You don't intend to stay here for a long time, do you?" asked Itachi suddenly. He looked at Tobi and tilted his head slightly. "I doubt Deidara or Sasori intend to."

"Oh," said Tobi. "But we don't know how long it will be until we can even go back. It could be months."

"Dear Gods, I hope not," said Kisame. "I don't care what you say, but I miss my chakra."

Tobi shrugged. "I never had the best chakra," he said. "I'm just very talented in agility and evasion."

Sam snorted. "You're a shinobi… can't those be some of the best traits?"

"She's actually kinda right," muttered Kisame with a huff. "But to be a serious shinobi you need more than just the ability to dodge anything."

Tobi slumped.

They walked silently for a while as Sam contemplated stores and Tobi randomly pointed them out to her. They finally found a suitable store for all three of the men, and they went inside. Tobi immediately found something worth trying on ("He's a like a girl when he shops," scowled Kisame), and disappeared to see if the clothing would fit.

While the others browsed through the clothing, Kisame paused, glancing up at Itachi. "Hey, what happened with your eyes?" he asked suddenly. Sam and Itachi both stopped looking at the merchandise and up at Kisame. "Can you see clearly or not?" he clarified.

Itachi glanced around and shrugged minutely. "I can see clearer than I could before with the Sharingan deactivated. But nothing is perfect."

"We'll get you glasses, then," chirped Sam.

Kisame chuckled and looked away from Itachi's glare. Tobi came out at that moment, without his new selections. Apparently the clothing hadn't been to his taste. "Itachi-san needs glasses? That would be funny!" he said lightly, not noticing the scowl set on the Uchiha's features. Kisame laughed again and walked away, while Sam sighed and pushed Tobi away.

"Go with Kisame and find some more clothing. I'm taking Itachi to a different store to get some temporary glasses." She gave Tobi another nudge then walked out of the store with Itachi trailing behind her.

Tobi hummed and looked around for Kisame. Not seeing him, he shrugged and began browsing again. He found the entire experience of this world quite entertaining so far. The girls had told them more about cars as they drove into the more populated part of the state. They had also explained a bit about the world. Tobi was amazed to find that this world had mapped almost the entire planet; back home, they had maybe half of a continent mapped and the coastline across the ocean.

The clothing style was similar to what he knew, but a little more advanced in style, with more accessories than he was used to. He had also discovered that where they were from, called the Naruto world, here, or Naruto-verse, was extremely well known and very popular.

It was very odd to see it from his eye.

It seemed most of them had gotten used to it, though. Tobi didn't mind; it made him feel as if he were famous, which he had never been. He was content with this world in general. He liked not being the weakest.

Kisame appeared by him at that moment, looking at the green bills in his hand. "This shit is so weird… the numbers are so much lower than our currency…" He snorted and walked to the cashier, his purchases hanging over an arm. Tobi followed and waited while Kisame bought the clothing with the money Jessica had handed out at the entrance to the mall, in case they split up. He turned around, now with a bag and frowned minutely.

"Where did Itachi and Sam go?" he asked.

"She took Itachi-san to get some glasses," he replied, and then turned around and walked out of the store. Kisame followed and glanced around.

He didn't really know why, but being in large buildings with no windows (other than on the roof, he noted), caused him to always loose his basic sense of direction. It was even worse here, when his senses were dulled due to his lack of chakra. He had momentarily forgotten which way they had come from until Tobi let out a sound of happiness and began moving in one direction. Kisame scowled and followed the hyper boy, looking to see what had made him so happy. He rolled his eyes when he saw Deidara and Sasori walking toward them.

Thank God Tobi at least had the intelligence to keep his mouth shut and only wave to the two until they came closer. "Did Deidara-senpai and Sasori-sama find anything they liked?" he asked happily.

Deidara sighed. "Yeah, we did. Chelsea took our bags, though."

"She and Jessica told us to find all of you and meet them in the food court," explained Sasori, scowling at Tobi.

"We still need to find Sam and Itachi," noted Kisame.

"No, we don't," said Tobi. Kisame glared, opening his mouth to retort when Tobi pointed behind him. Itachi silently stopped beside Kisame, holding a small bag.

"Sam went to the food court," he said, answering their unspoken question.

"Ah, then why not go there?" said Tobi, grinning. He passed Kisame and Itachi and began walking away.

"How the hell do you remember where everything is, yeah?" called Deidara after him, scowling. Nonetheless, they followed Tobi and began walking down the long stretch of mall, looking for the large food court.

It wasn't hard to find. They soon found a large chunk of the giant corridor that created the main part of the mall had been cut out for tables and chairs surrounded on three sides by different popular restaurants.

Though it appeared Sasori, Deidara and Tobi didn't notice any of this as they caught sight of the girls.

Kisame followed their gazes and raised an eyebrow curiously. The three of them were standing by the end of the court, talking to three boys probably around their age. Jessica and Sam were turned away from them, but they could see Chelsea had a very light blush to her cheeks. By the expression of the boys, it was quite obvious they were flirting with them.

Kisame glanced at Itachi, who caught his gaze. His dark eyes flickered to their companions, and he shrugged minutely. Kisame mirrored the move and turned back to look at the girls.

As Chelsea and Jessica laughed at a joke one of the boys told, Kisame noted that Tobi, Deidara and Sasori looked quite... well, pissed at the boys, who looked just a little too confident and comfortable with the three girls.

Silence fell as Deidara smoothly slid up beside Jessica, looping an arm lazily around her waist, and grinned at the guys. "You think you're cool, yeah?" he said arrogantly.

Kisame nearly choked as Tobi boldly pulled Chelsea against his chest, arms around her waist. Itachi raised an eyebrow thoughtfully while Sasori scowled, and stood next to Sam, crossing his arms. Kisame grinned and waited for the boys' responses as they spluttered at the blond.

Jessica jumped as Deidara made contact with her and her cheeks reddened considerably. Sam was staring in shock at both the blond and Tobi while Chelsea blinked several times, and her blush darkened.

The boys also seemed a bit red, but Chelsea had the idea it wasn't from embarrassment. She glanced up at Tobi. "I thought you'd be shopping longer," she said, rather nervous. Tobi just shrugged.

"I couldn't find anything I liked where we went, and we were hungry," he replied brightly, stepping around Chelsea so he was in a similar position as Deidara.

"Who are they?" asked Sasori suddenly, looking at Sam and jerking his head to the three boys.

"Obviously people who invade others' space," snorted Deidara, drawing back. Jessica walked with him, still in a state of shock. "If you don't mind, yeah, we'd like to go eat, now, Jess." While he spoke, however, his gaze was directed unblinkingly at one of the boys.

"What the fuck, man?" burst the boy Deidara had been staring at. "Who do you think are, just coming in here like that?"

"Are you one to talk?" snorted the blond. "We're out for some fun with a few girls, so you three try and take them away from us? Just fuck off, yeah."

The three glanced at the girls, who were still looking too shocked to do anything. Sam managed a small smile and shrugged. Kisame snorted as the boy shook his head, still looking angry, and shrugged. "Let's go, then. We can find something better, anyway," he said, glaring at all of them. The other two boys sneered as well and they turned away, stalking out of the food court.

"Think?" snorted Deidara loudly. "Assholes."

Jessica looked nervously at Deidara, who was still standing next to her. He appeared ready to go after the boys simply for their choice of words.

Sasori stalked forward, sending a pointed glance at Deidara. We're in the food court for a reason, are we not?" He turned away and began weaving through the tables into the court.

Jessica started sharply and laughed nervously. "Oh, yeah!" she said. "We should eat!" Then she steadily marched after Sasori, still blushing.

Deidara hummed thoughtfully and followed Jessica.

Chelsea jerkily moved into the court as well, blinking furiously while Tobi followed, happily oblivious.

Sam seemed to have composed herself and glanced at Itachi and Kisame with a small grin. "That was fun!" she said cheerily. Kisame snorted.

"Admittedly, it was, but I'm hungry," he said. "Where to?" He motioned to the multitude of shops.

Sam shrugged. "Let's go with Subway," she said lightly. "Come on now!" She walked away and Kisame and Itachi shared a glance before following the blonde.

•

Jessica sighed and beat the steering wheel with her palms, growling irritably. Kisame chuckled from the passenger seat. The redhead turned toward him with a dark scowl. "Shut. Up. Or I will throw you out when we've sped up."

She, Kisame, Deidara and Sasori were in her Hyundai Sonata, waiting in traffic. Where they were, just out of the valley, there were no signal lights, so Jessica had explained that there had likely been a car crash.

Chelsea was directly behind them in her SUV with Sam, Tobi and Itachi, flashing her lights at Jessica out of boredom. They were all on their way home from a night of shopping; it was late and an unusual fog had moved in, most likely cause of the crash.

"How long is this going to take?" huffed Sasori, scowling out the window.

Jessica tried to suppress a smile as she replied, "It could take a long time if the crash is bad. If it's not, we should start moving soon."

"I'm fine staying here," said Deidara contentedly. "There would be plenty to do if you had kept some of the shit you bought with you, yeah." He waved his newly acquired sketchbook in front of Sasori. The redhead's scowl deepened and he suddenly snatched the sketchbook out of Deidara's fingers.

"Fine," he snipped as the blond protested loudly, attempting to get the book back. "Now I have something to do." Sasori pulled the pencil out of the ringed binding and idly flipped the book open. He paused on the half-complete sketch of Deidara's and raised an eyebrow at the blond.

"Really, Deidara?" he said lightly. "I'm sure the meager lighting in here has not ruined your talent quite this much. What happened?"

Deidara was swiftly turning red in the face. Jessica and Kisame both turned to look at the supposedly bad drawing. Jessica shrugged.

"I see nothing wrong with it," she stated.

Sasori sighed. "_Details._" He said. "There's so little detail."

"Perhaps he hadn't added it yet?" questioned Jessica? "You know, like line art?"

"Exactly," scoffed Deidara. "If you want to see a truly good sketch, let me finish the drawing, yeah." He grabbed the book back from the redhead.

"I'm sure it will look much the same when you're done," said Sasori.

"And you assumed yours would be better?" growled Deidara.

Sasori snorted. "I know mine _are_ better."

Deidara scowled and took the pencil from Sasori. "Have you ever had anything but your other excuses for art to compare?"

"Well, there are your sketches… like a child's. There's quite a difference."

Deidara opened his mouth to retort, but Kisame stopped him. "If you two would just shut up, Jessica and I have our opinions on this matter."

"We do?" squeaked Jessica the same moment Kisame said, "Nobody gives a fuck."

Both Deidara and Sasori fastened identical glares on Kisame. Both began to speak again but were once again interrupted, this time by Jessica.

"I propose a competition," she said.

"Excuse me?" said Sasori, looking at Jessica. She glanced at him through her rear view mirror.

"Both of you draw something when we get home," started the driver. "Whoever has the better drawing (voted on by the rest of us) gains one point. You can continue the competition until you are satisfied.

Deidara shrugged. "I'm for it," he said, glancing at Sasori.

"Because it may be the only chance to seem better," huffed Sasori. "Bribing the others to vote for you." He looked up at Jessica, ignoring Deidara's glower. "Why should I agree to something so pointless?"

"Oh, are you realizing that I may, through some phenomenon, do better than you, Danna?" snorted Deidara, still scowling.

Sasori scoffed. "I merely see no reason for this competition when I am obviously superior."

"You don't know that for sure," snapped Jessica quickly. "You may only think so. It's not hard; you draw, he draws, done. One round over."

Sasori scowled and shrugged. "Fine. I'll participate."

Jessica smiled. "Good." Just as she spoke, the inching speed of the traffic finally picked up and they began moving at a faster, steady speed. Jessica cheered quietly while Sasori and Kisame sighed with relief.

"Home we go!" said Jessica. "You can finish the drawings when you get home or tomorrow. Either way, I'm going to bed immediately."

Deidara shrugged. "I'll finish it tonight."

"Doing it so quickly may only mess you up," muttered Sasori.

Jessica snorted. "Sasori is advising Deidara to slow down?" She said in mock surprise. "And helping him out at all is such a shock! How odd."

Sasori scowled. The rest of the drive home was filled with light banter between the two artists and Kisame, who continued to tease both Sasori and Deidara relentlessly.

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

Jessica continued to watch the scene before her for several moments before looking at Chelsea. The brunette looked as shocked as she did. Shaking her head, the auburn-haired girl turned and shouted into the house:

"Guys! Sam! Come look at this!"

It wasn't every day you got to randomly see someone walk across your property for no apparent reason, only to disappear again on the far side. Especially if that person didn't even belong to this dimension.


End file.
